FC Bayern: Thomas Müller wants to become a sperm millionaire with insemination station (reddit.com)
Former Barcelona president Sandro Rosell: 'When I entered the prison they gave me four condoms and four bags with vaseline, I was worried' (marca.com)
Watzke's ultimatum for Lucien Favre: 'A happy fart never comes from a miserable ass' (theyellowwall.net)
Marco van Basten apologizes for saying 'Sieg Heil' during fox-sport broadcast (nos.nl)
Conte: 'I explain to the players how they should have sex ... in the periods of competition, the intercourse should not last long and they should be on the bottom.' (gazzetta.it)
Redknapp backs Pochettino: 'There are clubs in London who are having a terrible time. Why shouldn’t he go to Arsenal if he wants to? You think the Arsenal fans wouldn’t love him there? If you go in there and start winning football matches, they would have taken Saddam Hussein in there when he was about, the fans don’t give a monkey's! If you start winning every week, they’re singing ‘there’s only one Saddam’. (mirror.co.uk)
Juventus chairman Andrea Agnelli says a European Super League will help football against threats like Fortnite (twitter.com)
Firpo 'ready to apologize' for his old tweets wishing that 'sh*t rat Messi' dies (tribuna.com)
Falcao on Uruguayan defender Giménez: He drove me crazy, asked questions. What car I had, why the flags of Ecuador, Colombia and Venezuela have the same colour and whether September was written with a P or not. (thesefootballtimes.co)
Ligue 1 Conforama will become Ligue 1 Uber Eats from the 2020-2021 season. (lequipe.fr)